About the course
He goes quiet, and she wants to talk. She drops a hint, and he misses it. He offers a solution, and she feels dismissed. She brings it up again, and he feels nagged. In 1992 John Gray's bestselling self-help book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus gave millions of people a way to make sense of scenes like these: men and women are from different planets.
Different Dialects takes that idea seriously, then does two things the book didn't. It checks the claims against more than thirty years of research on how men and women differ and how couples talk, argue and make up. And it turns what holds up into skills, with something to practice at the end of every lesson.
The idea it keeps coming back to is that the differences in how men and women communicate are real, but they're more like dialects than separate languages. Most of us live somewhere in between, and anyone can learn the other dialect. You'll also notice your own communication habits and practice small shifts that can make important conversations clearer and more constructive.
Who it's for
Written to men and women at the same time. No lesson talks to one sex about the other.
- Single and datingIncluding dating again after a divorce or a long relationship. Use the On a Date version of each exercise; the dating module is written for you.
- In a relationship or marriedTaking it on your own works. One person responding differently is often enough to break a pattern that two people have been stuck in.
- Couples taking it togetherIn Couple Mode, each of you reads the lessons alone, then you meet once a week for about 30 minutes to do the Together exercises.
- The curious skepticYou suspect the Mars-and-Venus jokes are half right and want to know which half. No background is needed.
What you can count on
The house rules behind every lesson.
Who's behind this
When the author first read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, its ideas about how men and women communicate seemed fascinating. But how much of it was actually true? Over the years, experiences in the author's own life seemed to confirm some claims and challenge others.
That question stayed. The author returned to the book to better understand what research and experience can tell us about communication between men and women. In Different Dialects, 31 of the book's popular ideas go through evidence-based Reality Checks, looking at what research supports and where the evidence remains mixed. Practical exercises help you bring the insights that hold up into real conversations. The course exists to share what that search turned up, so you can carry a clearer understanding into your own relationships.
Different Dialects is an independent course and isn't affiliated with John Gray or his books: it describes popular ideas fairly, then puts them to the test.
What's inside
Ten modules that move from understanding each other, to translating, to connecting, plus the resources you'll use along the way.
11 areas · 33 lessons · 9 downloadable PDFs
- Orientation: Welcome to Planet Earth1 lesson
- Mars, Venus & Planet Earth: What's Really Different4 lessons
- A Visit to Mars: Understanding Men3 lessons
- A Visit to Venus: Understanding Women3 lessons
- Two Dialects: How Men and Women Talk4 lessons
- The Core Skills: Listening, Asking, Appreciating4 lessons
- Conflict Without Casualties5 lessons
- Dating: From First Message to "What Are We?"4 lessons
- Love for the Long Haul3 lessons
- Capstone: Your Translation Guide2 lessons
- Resources13 resources
- Work at your own pace, on any device
- A check-in at the end of every module
- Two self-assessments you retake at the end
- One simple payment, no subscription